Getting The Advantage
by Shaps
Summary: After a scary moment where Edward almost kills Bella, he suggests that she should have a child before her changing. What will she decide? Then there's Jake... the leftover werewolf. Will he find love when Bella's clearly unavailable?
1. Hiding

**Just something random… I was reading another story and for some strange reason this scenario popped into my head. I've been writing for ages, because I couldn't stop, so I really hope you guys like it! Read and review, please! And tell me if I should make it into a real story.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I am not Stephenie Meyer. I aspire to be her one day, (don't we all?) but right now, it's not gonna happen. **

**Haha. Bet you all think I'm from Crazytown now!**

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Carlisle had let me in. He was all dressed up in a tuxedo, Esme whisking around the living area behind him. Carlisle was taking Esme out to the opera in some town too complicated for me to try and pronounce. I made my way towards Edward's room after quick words had been exchanged, because Carlisle rushed off to help Esme in her hunt for whatever it was she was looking for.

Somehow I managed to not catch my feet on a single stair on my way up, and I was now sitting on Edward's golden bed, waiting for him.

For some reason he was in the shower; something in my memory told me Carlisle had said it was because he and Jasper had decided to wrestle in the mud, just for something different. I hadn't been paying attention. My eyes had constantly been wandering to the stairs, so Carlisle felt no aversion to leaving me to find my own way.

He might have mentioned that Alice and Jasper were away or something too; Alice ought to have come dancing through the door by now if she was in the house but apparently she wasn't.

I lay back for a moment, and closed my eyes. I heard the water pipes shut off overhead, and I got a devilish idea.

It was a good thing Edward couldn't read my thoughts.

I rolled over off the edge off the bed to stand. I looked around for somewhere to hide, and decided that the unoriginal hiding place of under his bed seemed fitting. I dropped to my knees and wriggled under there, twisting around so I could see the bottom of the door.

I only had to wait a minute or so before Edward's feet appeared through the door, making no noise at all. I had to work very hard to not hyperventilate; even the sight of his feet made me feel unworthy. How ridiculous.

Once the door was closed behind him, his feet were gone. He even moved like a ghost in his own bedroom. A true vampire, in every right.

As soon as he'd entered the room, I could smell his delectable scent. My tastebuds started partying, and I only just suppressed a sigh – one of my more stupid reactions to him. After being in the shower it was a little stronger than usual, and I was very close to just rolling out from under the bed right there. I only managed to stop myself because I knew that my unexpected entrance might alarm him, and because my hiding place would be forever spoilt if he saw where I was now.

The mattress above me sagged slightly, and I knew he'd sat down. One of his feet appeared to my right, at exactly the point where I could reach out and seize his ankle, to scare him. My hand was halfway across the space – I was moving like a snail so he wouldn't hear me; I was very surprised he hadn't heard my breathing or something yet – when I heard something incredibly beautiful from above me.

For the first time, Edward was audibly (for my own ears, anyway) singing. His voice was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard, and this angelic sound wasn't much different. I didn't recognise the tune; I wasn't even sure if it was in English. He started to hum the chorus then – my hand was still suspended in mid-air – and a silly smile plastered itself across my face.

He'd created lyrics to my song; to the song he'd played on the piano for me the first time I'd been here.

He started singing words again, but the only ones I understood were 'Lau Tua Cantante' and 'La Bella'. My heart felt like it usually did when he did something unexpectedly sweet; like it was about to swell so much it'd be visible through my ears.

I dropped my hand, and brought it back to join my other in supporting my chin. Edward continued to hum as he whisked around his room, his feet appearing at his wall of CD's for a moment, then to be facing the glass wall, then at random points around the room. I wondered what he was thinking about, because if he hadn't heard the sound of my breathing – least of all my heart beating like a bongo – he must be very, very distracted.

He seemed to remember something then, because his lovely white feet appeared at the door, the door opened so quickly that I've had missed it if I wasn't staring so intently at it during my thought processes, and it closed again, leaving me alone in Edward's bedroom.

My elbows were starting to twinge, so I rolled out from under Edward's bed. It was too much to ask to stand without smacking my head on the edge of the bed, so I was rubbing a tender spot on my skull as I sat down the bed again. My shoes cluttered to the ground, and I slid to the middle of the doona; there was less likelihood of me falling off if I was in the middle; and I crossed my legs.

I waited patiently, my thoughts wondering around the place, mainly trying to come up with a good reason as to why I was sitting in his room now but not while he'd been here a minute ago. I looked out the window, trying to see something that would inspire me.

I was halfway through an unlikely lie about being able to turn invisible, when I heard the door handle twisting around. I'd barely moved my face to see if Edward was coming in, when the mattress was supporting the weight of a human and a vampire.

The human had brown eyes, and the vampire had eyes so black that they belonged deep, deep down in hell.

I drew a sharp breath when I looked into Edward's face. Still as excruciatingly beautiful and magnificent as always, he looked murderously thirsty. I inwardly cursed myself for being so damn _smelly_.

My hands were behind me on the bed, leaning back so far that my thigh muscles were practically crying out in protest. Edward's body was over mine but he was somehow still standing on the ground; his hands on either side of my body and his bare torso so close to my own that I could feel the coolness of his dry-ice like skin emanating onto my own.

Throughout all of this, though it had only been going on for two seconds at the most, I noticed what Edward was wearing.

Or rather, what he wasn't wearing.

The towel from his shower was still wrapped around his waist, but it was slipping down one side. I tried, and failed, to not look _down there_.

I was bumped unpleasantly into reality when a small snarl escaped Edward's lips. It seemed like a purr at first, but then I heard the obvious difference in the tone and realised that I was incredibly close to death; death at the hand of the only person I would die for.

A miniscule memory floated into my mind; the first time Edward had kissed me. I distinctly remember the feeling of his cool breath tickling my cheeks, my nose and my lips when he had come so close. I remembered the intense urge to jump out at him straight away, but how I had resisted. I remembered the reaction I'd had when he _had_ kissed me, how I'd reached up and seized hold of him to mould my lips to his with more vigour than was strictly allowed. I remembered this memory because this was a close repeat of that incident in many ways, but in one way most importantly.

When Edward had snarled, a stunning sound though it was more terrifying than anything else, his breath had tickled my cheeks and my nose and my lips just as that first time. However, unlike that first time, I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't wait for him to kiss me.

So that is why I made possibly the _worst_ of all my bad moves. I threw my arms around his ice cold neck and pushed my lips against his.

I felt him go rigid straight away, not in the way he usually would before he'd gently push me away to keep me safe, but in the way a killer whale would if a baby seal turned around and started hugging it. And, as always, as nature ensures, the killer whale realised what was happening, and tried to get hold of its prey.

During the moment Edward was gathering his thoughts, a strange thought crossed my mind. If he had been this thirsty, why was he humming my lullaby? Why had he been so relaxed and distracted that he hadn't smelt me less than three metres away from him, why hadn't he heard my overly-enthusiastic heart beat? My thoughts were cut short, as always, by what Edward was doing.

Edward's hands shot up, one hand on my back and the other on the back of my head. His fingers gently tangled through my hair, then pulled my hair back. His mouth moved from my face to my neck, and to my collar bone, which had been exposed by the unexpected jostle.

I steeled myself to feel my collar bone break, if that was how he would choose to start to kill me; or to feel his razor sharp teeth push into my skin; or even for his hand to creep up my back to my neck so he could finish the job with a quick flick of his wrist.

His mouth continued to move along the skin of my throat. I could feel his smooth lips, but I could feel his teeth too, they were grazing along my collar bones and shoulder, leaving a cool line of venom along my skin.

I breathed in sharply, believing he was going to bite me before he killed me, which would make it all the more painful for me. My breath was too quick for my stunned lungs and I choked slightly, the cough making my body shake.

Edward stopped dead. He pulled back, his hand loosening from my hair, his other hand flying away from my back like I had shocked him. He pulled completely away from me, looking me in the eyes for the shortest moment, and then he was gone.

The white towel fluttered to the ground on the floor beside the bed.

I was frozen in the position Edward had had me cowering in, so I simply stared at the door for a time until the muscles in my thighs made their protests properly known. Slowly, I sat up, and then unconsciously brushed my fingertips across the places on my neck which felt like menthol had been painted there.

There were places which felt quite tender, but I couldn't feel any breaks in the skin; and I couldn't feel any fire working it's was through my veins.

I got up, still feeling in quite a daze, and stood like an idiot, my eyes not leaving the door. I bent down and scooped up Edward's towel, laying it across the foot of the bed. After a minute of having no idea what I was doing, I sat down on the edge of the bed; straight-backed and hands folded in my lap.

I don't know how long I was there for, because when I snapped back into unconsciousness, the sun was setting low over the horizon, reddish ribbons of light sneaking their way into Edward's room.

I got up, my stiff muscles all protesting equally now, and headed for the door.

Out in the hall, sunset shadows made everything look slightly hazy, like in a dream. At that moment I stubbed my toe on a small side table, and the pain was too real for this to be a dream.

When I got to the stairs, I put one hand on the railing and took each stair at a time, not wanting to end up at the bottom with even a pin-prick sized drop of blood available for the taking. Both feet would pad down on the same step before I went for the next one; much like a bride walking down the aisle.

Or a dead man walking for the gallows.

I wasn't sure where I was going, so I settled for the kitchen. I knew where it was, at least.

The sound of the chair scraping back against the linoleum was quite eerie in the empty house. I put my head on my arms on the table, and tried to work out what I was supposed to do.

Edward had disappeared and I didn't know when he was coming back.

Esme and Carlisle would be back at about midnight, or one in the morning at the latest.

Alice and Jasper were obviously not available; hunting or seeing a film in Port Angeles or something of the like.

Emmett and Rosalie were still on their honeymoon and wouldn't be back for a few months.

I vaguely wondered why Alice hadn't turned up yet; shouldn't she have seen this happening? She should have seen me sitting here on my own, at the least.

My mind continued to play with the possibilities when an earlier thought came back into my head.

Why didn't Edward know I was right there, in his room?

He must have. He must have heard me, or something, how was it possible that he didn't? Maybe he did. Maybe he was pretending he didn't notice me and he was just joking around back in his bedroom… no. I didn't believe that. The look of hunger in his eyes was very, very real. I had been terrified.

Perhaps _that_ was his intention? To scare me? He was always saying that a healthy dose of fear would be good for me, after all. If that had been his intention, it obviously didn't work because I was still here, in the house, not running and screaming like a normal person should be.

Should I be running and screaming, though? Oh god, was he trying to make me leave, for my own good, before he has to do it himself again?! Please, please no, don't let that be it. Don't let him leave. Don't let him leave…

I was still chanting it in my head when I heard his voice.

"Bella?"

He was in the entrance hall.

"Here," I called, lifting my head from my arms. The movement caused the pooled tears in my eyes to splash over and I hurriedly tried to wipe them away before Edward saw. I wasn't fast enough.

"What's wrong?" He was very close to me, his hand brushing my tear-stained cheeks.

"Nothing." I doubt he'd have believed that, even if my voice didn't crack.

He pulled a chair out beside me, and put his other hand on my face, smiling apologetically. I didn't want him to try and get me to explain my thoughts right then, so I changed the subject.

"Why are you wearing clothes?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, and tilted his chin up, grinning cheekily. I realised too late that the words had a double meaning.

"No, no! I didn't mean it like that!" He smiled wider at me and I smiled sheepishly back at him as I tried to explain myself. I gathered my thoughts and rephrased. "How did you get clothes again?"

"There are spares in the garage." His eyes twinkled at me. They were a honey gold colour now.

"Oh." I looked at the ground, and put my hands on his to move them away from my face, but kept them in my own, dangling between us. "You went hunting then," I assumed, examining my bare feet. I could feel his gaze on me as he responded.

"Yes."

I really, really couldn't think of anything to say. After a few beats, I came up with "That's good." My feet were beginning to look boring, so I looked around for something else to stare at.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of sweeping across Edward's face. My eyes couldn't help themselves; they pulled back to stare at his angelic features, which were arranged in a worried expression.

"What's wrong?" He asked again, and I internally kicked myself for looking back at him. I knew my puffy eyes were the thing which had gotten me back into this situation.

I cleared my throat before I spoke this time. "Nothing." It came out less crackly than last time, at least.

Edward blanched and pulled away from me, my hands dropping into my lap.

"I scared you." He was the one examining my feet now. I self consciously folded them back under the chair. He looked back to my face.

"No, it was my fault."

He exhaled and rolled his eyes, a reaction I'd seen many times. "It is not your fault, Bella, that I am a monster."

I blurted it out before I could think properly. The way he had said 'Bella' had prompter the reaction; it sounded too much like the way he'd said my name in the forest after my disastrous 18th birthday.

"Don't leave me!" I sounded fairly hysterical, even to myself, so it would have sounded even worse to his sensitive ears.

His eyebrows lowered and every hint of amusement left his face. "I will never leave you again."

I hadn't realised I was holding my breath until it came out in a great gust, ruffling Edward's hair. I felt my cheeks burn worse than they had in a long time. How embarrassing.

"You really didn't get scared?" He looked concerned, but I could see the edges of amusement on his face.

"Yes, but not in the way you think."

"Well, tell me how I _did_ scare you then."

I reached for his hands, and he allowed me to play with his palms as I spoke. "I was scared that you would be pushed over the edge, that you were actually going to kill me –" I paused, seeing the expression on his face, and rushed to make myself clearer, "- but then my logical mind caught up with me and I knew you wouldn't hurt me." He seemed to relax a little at that, but his jaw was still hard. "When you'd left, I was thinking about why you didn't realise I was in your room when you came out of the shower -"

"What?" He interrupted, his face drawing back slightly.

"I was hiding in your room; I wanted to give you a fright when you came in."

"No, I would have definitely noticed if you were in my room. You don't exactly smell subtle, Bella." He smiled on the last sentence, and lifted my hand to his face, touching the back of my hand to his cheek.

"Well, I was in there."

"No you weren't." He looked supremely confident. I decided to bring out the big guns.

"So, when did you write lyrics to my song?"

His face dropped slightly. "Lyrics?" He asked innocently.

"Yes. Lyrics." I raised an eyebrow at him. "La Tue Cantante, La Bella? Sound familiar?"

He looked totally puzzled. "How long have you had a recorder in my bedroom for?"

"Edward." I felt a shot of happiness when his name passed my lips, but I tried to suppress the smile it caused; "I was in your room. I saw you moving around your room. You didn't realise I was in your room." The devil in me jumped out and I couldn't help myself. "I saw you getting dressed in your room."

His face went, if possible, even whiter. "You, you what?"

Impressive; I made him stutter.

"Don't worry, it's our little secret." I made sure my face looked deadly serious as I delivered the line with a sly smile.

His face looked so shocked that I couldn't help myself. I had to laugh. As soon as my face broke into a smile, he relaxed immensely.

"That wasn't funny," he was trying to look outraged but he couldn't stop the smile from appearing on his lips.

"Oh I don't know, it sounded very funny from where I'm sitting!" I flashed him a big cheesy smile and made him smirk.

"We'll have to change that then." His smirk became a very mischievous grin, and he reached out for me. I thought he wanted a hug or something so I moved towards him, but then his hands snagged under my arms and he lifted me up. I instinctively grabbed hold of anything I could, so somehow I ended up clinging to the table and Edward had hold of my waist, trying to yank me away from the mass of wood.

"Let go Bella." I could hear the barely suppressed laughter in his voice. I gritted my teeth harder together, knowing full well that this was a fight I was never going to win.

"Nuh uh, no way are you dragging me off to bury my corpse."

"That's Newton's job."

I turned to face him. "That was mean."

"But it was very tactful." He had a huge smile on his perfect face.

"Tactful?"

"You aren't holding onto the table anymore."

I knew it was useless to try to snatch hold of the wood again, but I tried anyway. Edward whisked me quickly into the entrance hall, and my movement nearly caused my face to collide with the floor. Edward performed some kind of swing dance move and I found myself in his muscular arms. I didn't have a problem with that, but I did have a problem with losing.

"Hey Edward," I said, doing my best to use a seductive voice. His face flicked to mine so fast it would have been fatal for a human.

"Yes?"

I put a hand up to his face, smoothing my palm along his cheekbone and into his unruly hair. "You've got something on your cheek. Lean down a bit."

He followed my orders and bent his face to mine. I put my other hand up to his skin, and as I'd hoped, he had to rearrange me in his arms. As I was lifted slightly up with the movement, I quickly put my hands behind his head and pulled his face to mine.

This kiss was much like the other one, only I wasn't the one pushing the limits this time. I could feel Edward's arms move, and I felt my feet hit the ground, but I wasn't paying attention to that. The only things I was paying attention to were the feel of his cool mouth, how his hands had laced themselves around my waist, how his hair felt like the richest silk between my fingers, and then how my feet left the ground again.

Edward didn't even have to look where he was going. He never broke stride; neither with his feet nor with his lips; and I soon felt the soft mattress of his bed under me. Finally, after a good two minutes, I pulled away, desperate for air.

Edward didn't move away from me like I had expected. His lips trailed along my neck, curving around my ear. He murmured something but I didn't understand it, and I didn't have enough air available to ask him to repeat himself.

His lips were fluttering along my shoulder when I finally caught my breath.

"Edward," I said, still breathless.

"Mmm," he murmured, sliding his nose very slowly along my hairline. I tried to construct a sentence, and had to close my eyes to do it properly.

"That was different," I managed. He mumbled an agreeable response again. I put a hand up to his neck, cooling my wrist before gently pushing back. He reluctantly broke free from my skin and had a slight sulky expression on his face. He somehow managed to pull it off gracefully.

"I _was_ in here. And I _did_ hear your singing." He still looked sulky. "You're very good you know."

He ignored the latter comment. "There is no way I didn't smell you."

"But you were distracted!"

"Nothing is more distracting than you, Bella." At that, he moved towards me again. I pulled back, unwilling to drop it. Then something clicked. Every time I would ask him why he didn't notice me, he would hide his face. "You _so_ did!"

"Nope."

"Yes."

"No."

"You did and you won't admit it! Why won't you admit it?" I deliberately adopted a cross expression, and folded my arms across my chest.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Okay. You were in here and I didn't notice." He leaned toward me again, and sighed heavily when I held up a hand to stop him.

"Now, tell me what you were thinking about."

He blanched, and then tried very hard to hide it. "Nothing of consequence."

"I saw that. You _were_ thinking about something important. What was it?"

"Never mind Bella." He looked like he knew he was cornered, and boy was he ever cornered.

I decided to turn one of his lines around on him. "If you don't tell me, I'll assume it's much worse than it really is."

He seemed to accept that. "I was thinking about how I think you should have a –" He stopped short, and looked at me warily. I kept my mouth shut and waited for the rest of the sentence. He looked at me apologetically before continuing; "- a child. Before I change you."

Several things whipped through my head.

First, the vision of the children I'd imagined me having with Jake in another life so many months ago flashed through my mind. They were running away from me, their silky black hair shining in the sun as they disappeared into the forest.

Then, I thought of Renee's possible reactions. Would she be horrified, or ecstatic at having grandchildren? Charlie would be ecstatic, of course; perhaps not so much if he thought Edward had knocked me up though.

Then Jake came back to my mind. Having a child – seemingly with Edward to all those who weren't so in the know – would cement my relationship so hard that Jacob wouldn't be able to stand looking at me anymore. Or would he? Maybe those inky haired children could be a reality if Jacob were to agree – _stop right there_, I told myself firmly. _You're not actually considering this, are you?_

Among smaller, wordless thoughts, the biggest one broke through my consciousness. Edward had just said something that made me happier than anything else right at this moment.

"…_Before I change you."_

Edward's going to be the one to change me!!

My voice came back to me. I could hear the badly masked joy in it, so I knew Edward could too, but I knew he would interpret it differently to how it really was.

"Kids?"

He smiled. "Kids."

"Hmm. I'll have to think that through."

He smiled at me, very broadly, and his face looked so glorious that I couldn't help but stare at him like a slack-jawed hillbilly.

"That makes me very happy, Isabella Swan." He leaned toward me, and brushed his cheek to my own, very slowly. I turned my face to his, looking for his lips, but he just smiled angelically down at me.

"I think we've risked your life enough this evening."

"Too right." I smiled at his shocked expression; I never agreed with him on that matter. "Let's try risking yours for a while, shall we?"

Just as I had surprised him with my response, he surprised me with his.

"Okay."

I grinned, my eyes twinkling at him, something I knew he couldn't resist when I had enough self control around him to do.

"Be still."

Just as he had before, Edward's face relaxed, and he closed his eyes. He didn't sway as he stayed in the one position, lying with one arm propping his head up and the other held in my own.

I shifted on the mattress, pushing myself up onto my knees, and only just managing to stop myself from falling onto the floor. One of his eyes opened as I righted myself, and I could see the amusement in them. I gave him a look of mock outrage and he closed his eye again, his face relaxing into the saintly mask that suited him so well.

I leaned forward, and touched my fingertips so lightly along his cheek that I could barely feel it. I knew _he_ could though. I turned my face on the side and brushed my lips down his satin-like skin, from his hairline to the tip of his nose. I couldn't help myself; I brushed my mouth across his bottom lip so his marble pucker sat in the crease of my own.

I remembered at that moment how his breath always threw me off, so I tried the same tactic with him. I kissed along his chin, and deliberately but gently sighed onto his skin. He seemed to shudder slightly, so I decided to test out each method he would use against me when he wanted to get the upper hand.

I put a hand on his shoulder, and then leaned around the other side, gently touching my shoulder to the curve of his throat as I kissed the back of his neck. I brought my other hand around and touched it to his muscled back, lightly touching my fingertips up and down the marble. I felt his breath quicken on my shoulder, and took that as my que to move on.

This afternoon I had felt like I had been denied a treat when Edward had had no shirt on – never mind that he was on the brink of taking my life – and I hadn't been able to properly enjoy the sight.

I smoothed my cheek along Edward's collar bone, carefully unbuttoning his shirt as I went. When it was totally off, I managed to shrug out of my jacket without getting stuck. The shirt I had chosen to wear today wasn't very spectacular, and as it wasn't that cold of a day (for Forks) so it wasn't as thick as usual.

I came across a slight flaw in my plan, so I carefully leaned in and whispered in Edward's ear.

"Stand up, and face the bed please." He started to move, and I could tell he was about to open his eyes so I added, "Eyes closed, and keep arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, thankyou ladies and gentlemen."

Edward smiled as he twisted around and put his legs over the side of the bed. He stood, and turned. Miraculously, he didn't notice his shirt was hanging open. Or he chose not to notice.

There was still a small smile on his face.

I leaned up on my knees then shuffled toward Edward.

"Don't move," I reminded him.

Carefully, I wound my arms around Edward's neck, and lifted my face to his.

The kiss started as normally as any other. Edward was careful to not damage my comparatively tissue-paper skin with his teeth, and I did my best to not throw myself into it too much. Edward's eyes were still closed. I drew a breath slowly and evenly so Edward wouldn't notice so much, and then I shuffled forward to close the distance between us.

My warm skin touched against his wintry pallor, and Edward shivered. He broke the rules, but I didn't really care, because when he raised his hands they didn't push me away. He put his hands very gently behind my back, and they were so icy that I shied away from them further towards Edward's torso. His intense cold felt nice against my now heated body. Edward's muscular arms tightened around my back, quite firm for his usual standards.

Throughout the marathon kiss, I taught myself how to breathe at the same time as kissing Edward. As far as I was concerned, that was all I needed to know to survive the rest of my life. Food and water could wait, I only _really_ needed air. And Edward.

Finally, at least five full minutes later, Edward's hands crept up and gently moved my face away from his. He was panting just as badly as I was.

"That wasn't very fair." He said, but it was with a smile.

"Life is very unfair." I slumped down to sit cross legged. "Sometimes unfair is a good thing though."

Edward sat down beside me, his breath returning to normal a lot faster than mine. "You know what this means, don't you?" His face wasn't all that serious but his tone of voice had me slightly worried for a moment.

"What?"

"I'm not the only one who can tamper with memories anymore."

I laughed at that, realising I had as much power over him as he had over me… as long as we weren't counting the physical strength department.

We sat in silence for a while, both going through our own thoughts. I was involuntarily thinking about the idea of children, and by the sideways glances that I wasn't meant to see, I was quite sure that Edward was thinking about it too.

Eventually Edward disappeared from beside me and reappeared at his wall of CD's. A few seconds later his hand was flashing towards the buttons on the player, and he was beside me before the music started. I didn't recognise it, but I liked it immediately. It was just piano music, and I had a good guess as to who was playing it.

"No lyrics to these?"

He turned his head across the blanket and flashed his perfect teeth as he spoke. "Only yours has lyrics, Bella."

I smiled and half-rolled over so my head was resting in the hollow of his shoulder.

I closed my eyes, and put all my effort into not shivering, otherwise Edward would insist that I have a blanket around me.

"You should sleep, Bella." Edward's voice sounded like it was part of my dream, but I knew that if I were dreaming about him, he wouldn't be telling me to sleep.

"But Charlie," I mumbled, not bothering to open my eyes, which were surprisingly heavy now.

Edward's hand brushed down my hair as he answered. "Charlie's staying with Billy tonight."

"Nah he's not," I mumbled, thinking that Charlie was only staying over at Billy's for the game.

"Alice mentioned to me before she left that Charlie will fall asleep at the Black's and Billy won't want to wake him."

"Oh." I could barely hear myself now.

"So will you sleep here with me?"

I grinned and tried not to slur my words as I retaliated with one of his much earlier comments. "Technically, you can't ever _sleep_ with me, Edward."

He laughed quietly in my ear. "Goodnight, Bella. Sweet dreams." I think I felt his lips on my head then, but the dream world was starting to blend with the waking one so I couldn't be sure.

"Night, night, Edward."


	2. Yes or No?

Hey guys, thanks for all your reviews

**Hey guys, thanks for all your reviews! I've added another chapter because a few people wanted to see what happens, so I really hope it lives up to the expectations!! And I'd like to point out a mistake I made in Chapter 1; Edward was meant to be wrestling with Jasper in the mud, not Emmett, because Emmett is on his honeymoon.**

**Disclaimer: If I was Stephenie Meyer, would I be writing on here? No. I would be writing Breaking Dawn (not too long to wait now!!)**

**As always, read and review!**

When I woke, I knew straight away that I had _been_ woken as opposed to waking under my own power. Part of this assumption was due to the fact that Edward was pacing the room in front of me, and the other part was because it was still dark outside.

"What's going on?" I was impressed with the clarity of my words, especially at this time of night – or morning.

"Alice called." I pulled myself into a sitting position, worried that Edward had bad news to deliver. "First, she said that Charlie was going to try and sneak back into your house before dawn because he thinks you're still there, and then she told me to tell you that Jacob will say yes."

Whatever colour was in my face drained away. I tried to cover it, unsuccessfully, because Edward raised his eyebrows at me.

"Oh, okay, I was wondering if he would let me come down to La Push this weekend."

Edward was nowhere near convinced. "Mmhmm."

I stood up and headed for the door. "Human minute?" I asked him, and he nodded as I passed; the confused expression still on his face.

The tiles of the ultra-white bathroom felt bitingly cold on my feet, so I quickly crossed to the rug by the basin and started rifling around in a drawer.

Alice insisted that since I was staying with them so often I should have my own drawer for the bathroom. It was silly really; no one else had any need to go into the bathroom (except for when Jasper and Edward decided the mud looked like fun) so I could have re-painted the bathroom and no one would have noticed.

And anyway, Alice had already bought me expensive toothbrushes and shampoos, so I felt rude telling her that it really wasn't necessary.

I pulled out my toothbrush and slapped some toothpaste on it, then scrubbed my teeth until the morning taste went away. Once I'd gargled the remainder of the frothy paste into the sink, I leant forward and breathed onto the mirror. After wiping my hand on the back of my jeans, I drew in the misty fog 'B.S. E.C.'.

Edward was waiting for me in his room, still pacing, and still with the worried expression creasing his perfect features.

I walked straight to his and took his face in my hands. He raised his cool hands to cover my own as I stared into his butterscotch eyes.

"There's nothing to worry about."

He looked at me for a moment before answering. "I should get you home. Charlie will be arriving soon."

"Will you stay with me?"

"If you want me there." He smoothed his thumb over the back of my hand.

I smiled at his and leant up on my toes to touch my nose to his. "I'll always want you."

His hands dropped from my face, and twined around my lower back. He pulled me closer to him as he caught my lips with his own, and gently moved them against my own.

Edward was suddenly speaking frantically to me. "Bella? Are you alright?"

"Mmm?" I realised I'd forgotten to breathe. As usual. 'Sorry. You made me faint."

He laughed quietly in my ear, and kissed my hair as he spoke again. "Up you go."

He swung me around easily, and I landed perfectly on his back, my legs and arms tightening around his waist and neck to such a degree that a softer man would be choking.

Then we were running, down the stairs and out the door so quickly that I had to check he wasn't sliding on something.

Below me, I couldn't even see his legs moving. He seemed to be smiling now, quite a dramatic change from his worrisome pacing around his room earlier. I wondered what had caused the change.

I leaned my head down onto Edward's shoulder, and stayed like that until we got back to the Chief's house. Neither of us said a word during the few minutes that Edward streaked across the earth like he wasn't even touching it.

He scaled the wall to my bedroom with no visible change in his level of effort. I slid off his back and landed on the bed, pulling my knees to my chin. Edward sat down beside me. I looked over to his seraphic face, and I immediately knew that he was hiding some emotion from showing on his face.

I let go of my legs and threw my arms around him. He raised one of his arms to look at me, then put his own around my shoulders; a very human gesture.

"What is Jacob going to agree to?"

I pulled back from his slightly to see his face better. He seemed calm enough, so I answered truthfully.

"I was thinking maybe Jacob would agree to be the father to this child you desire."

"Bella, I don't want you to have a child just because I asked you to." He started stroking my hair with one hand. "Besides," he continued, "If you have a child with that _dog_ then there's a good chance it will become a hunter of our kind also."

I screwed up my face. I hadn't remembered that detail. At least this prospect child would have an interesting life… a mother who's a vampire, and a father who's a werewolf, each on opposite sides of a much defined line in nature.

"Oh."

Edward knew then that I wasn't going to be pressing for Jacob to be the father.

But, having a child… that was a huge responsibility. I wouldn't be able to raise it, that's for sure, and that wouldn't really be any kind of motherhood at all. The child would have to be at least twenty before I'd have gained enough self control to not go for jugular upon meeting it. And who would I leave this child to? Who would care for it while I was inexplicably unavailable for many years? Renee wouldn't want to have to take the child on the road. Charlie wouldn't have enough time; his habits really were too long established to be broken now. It would be unfair to ask Angela or Mike or any of my school friends to do it for me; and those options would definitely come with a lot of questions.

But what about Esme? It would make her happier than anything else to finally be able to care for a child. It's not like it wouldn't be in capable hands; Carlisle was a doctor and Esme had endless love to give. Perhaps having a child would benefit more than just Edward's conscience.

"Bella?" Edward's angelic voice cut through my thoughts. He had his cheek pressed against the top of my head.

I sighed quietly. "Yes?"

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

I decided on the spot, knowing how many people this would benefit, and how happy this would make Edward. "I want to do it." He moved away from me and I was stunned by the beauty of his face when he smiled at me. "But," I added, and he raised his eyebrows slightly in interest, "Not until after we get married."

Edward laughed quietly in my ear. "Of course. After we get married."


	3. Jacob

**Sorry for the long-awaited update, I've been rushing to get through my school work let alone writing!!**

**And to those people who've asked, or are thinking it – no, vampires can't have a child, that's why Bella's dilemma is whether or not to ask Jake to be the father since he **_**can**_** have kids. Even though they'll turn out fairly different to your average child…**

**I hope you all like this; I've been having arguments with my other Twilight-obsessed friends about where this should go now… Oh well. Read and find out and review!!**

* * *

"Hey Bella," Charlie called from the kitchen as I thudded down the stairs.

Edward had already left. He was doing something with Jasper today while Alice kept on with the wedding arrangements. I was going to see Jacob is La Push today.

I yawned in the middle of my "Morning" response.

"What's new?"

I looked around the room as I stepped around the doorway, wishing that the cupboards weren't quite so _yellow_ – they were burning holes in my morning retinas.

"Not much," I replied, sitting down in a chair. Charlie kept bustling around with his head in the fridge, evidently searching for something. I didn't bother to ask.

He straightened up then, triumphantly holding a jar of come unlabelled substance. He beamed at me across the fridge door, then his face went a little red as he battled to open the lid.

"I felt like having something different for breakfast today – and this jam has been maturing for a fairly long time."

"Okay dad, I hope you don't get sick from it." I picked myself up and headed for the cereal box. Once I was back at the table with a bowl of cornflakes and milk swimming in front of me, I took a swig of water and cleared my throat.

"I'm going to see Jake today."

"That's good Bells, he's been missing you."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes dad." I scooped some cornflakes into my mouth. "No work today?" I asked then, because he ought to have been at the station by now.

"It's been a little slow this week, so I've told the fellas to take an extra half-hour in the morning."

I nodded. Not much ever really happened in Forks.

"When are you heading off?" He asked me, sitting down opposite me with some kind of orange slush spread across his toast.

"Soon," I replied, thinking about how good a shower was going to feel. "Jake'll probably still be in bed if I were to turn up at midday anyway." I stood up and scrubbed out my empty bowl in the sink.

"See ya Bells," Charlie called as I went through the doorway, heading for the stairs back up into my room.

I went into my room and seized my loyal toiletries bag, a pair of jeans and a button up shirt.

When I was in the bathroom, I cranked up the hot water tap, waiting for the hot water to come through before I twisted the cold water tap around. The steaming jet soothed my back, loosening the knotted muscles in my shoulders. I used the time I had standing under the water to think about what Edward had said.

So Jacob wasn't a good choice. I knew that now. It would be an interesting life for the child, on one hand, but it would be completely unfair on it too. Especially if I were to choose to hand the child over to Esme and Carlisle – who were obviously vampires through and through.

So the father would have to be a full human.

There was no one I could think of who would agree to such a request. An unknown donor was looking better and better every second. But then, having a child itself was a pretty big thing. Maybe Edward was doing this to try and make me see what I would be missing out on – that if I had a child I wouldn't be able to bear parting with it and therefore my mortality. Or maybe he just wanted me to leave something of myself behind in the human world. I believed the second option was more likely, Edward wasn't quite so vindictive when it would come to such a large decision. Not that becoming a vampire wasn't a large decision on my part anyway, because it really was.

Okay. So I was having a child with an anonymous donor and then the child was going to be in Carlisle and Esme's care after its birth.

Hang on – what about breastfeeding? And how lumpy I would look for the rest of my existence if Edward changed me immediately after the child had been born? Oh dear. This was going to come with a lot more complications that I'd considered.

Plus the nine months of back-bending pain and cravings and mood swings and then the labour itself – perhaps just skipping the whole idea would be better for everyone. And if I were to wait for about a year for my body to return to normal, I definitely wouldn't be a teenager for the rest of my existence, with Edward.

On second thoughts, a child wasn't that big of a deal. I'd never wanted kids before. And once I'd gained control of myself as well as Carlisle had, I would be able to adopt one, wouldn't I? Yes. I would.

Having my own children had never been a big aim in life anyway. It would be nice, yes, but from what Renee went through as a newlywed with me under one arm, it kind of squandered my vision of happy, bubbly little babies with chubby cheeks and smiling little faces.

The hot water began to run out then, so I regretfully shut off the taps and stepped onto the tiled floor.

When I was dry and dressed, I threw my things onto my bed and snatched a hair tie off my dresser on the way out. I was still bundling my damp hair into a bun when I got to my truck, so I stood at the door for a moment, making sure it looked okay from the front by looking in my reflection in the window.

My mind was so abuzz with thoughts that I didn't realise I had gotten into the truck and was driving until I'd stopped outside the Black's place. The red paint looked just the way I'd remembered it, slightly fading, but still such a colour that it looked like it knew hundreds of stories better than any shiny new house would ever know.

Jake appeared at the door then, alerted by my truck of my arrival. He looked happy, his smile stretching across his russet skin and standing out even from this distance.

I smiled back, unsure of whether or not he could see me through the truck window, and opened the door. Jake was there faster than he ought to have been – reminding me of how I wouldn't have to be jealous of any kind of speed advantages soon enough – and was pulling me into a very Jake-style hug. There didn't seem to be an part of me that wasn't being hugged by his gigantic frame.

"Hey Jake," I said into his shirt. He pulled back and smiled wider at me.

"What's up Bella?" I could even hear the unmasked happiness in his voice.

"Well it's nice to see that you're wearing tops again at least," I joked, smiling back at him. He laughed and leaned forward to shut the truck door behind me, then stayed at my side to walk me up to the house.

"Yeah, I'm having a day off today. It's just Sam and Embry running the borders today."

I looked up at him, hoping that my feet wouldn't catch any loose sticks while I wasn't looking down. "There aren't any threats at the moment though."

"Just a precaution," he said, smiling painfully widely again. He looked up at the house when he spoke again. "Guess what?" He asked, the smile remaining.

"What?" I said, checking that there weren't any obstacles I was about to fall on my face for.

"I'll tell you once you're sitting down."

I gave him a strange look, but he didn't see it because he was still smiling in the direction of the house. "Okay."

We got to the door then, and Jacob let me through first with a gentlemanly wave of his arm.

**Ohhh cliffy!! Haha. Don't worry, I'll update asap this time. Thanks so much for your past reviews everyone - please review again!! I'm far more inclined to update quickly if my inbox is full of notes telling me that I've got lots of reviews... hint hint!**

**Hope you liked it!**


	4. Surprise!

**Corny, I know, but I love sappy love quotes and this one makes my top 10, so I thought I'd share it with you…**

"**Love isn't something you find, **

**Love is something that finds you."**

**Awwwww**

**Okay, rant over. Read and review!! **

**Thanks to everyone for their reviews, especially **_**HermioneRon4ever**_** because you're so consistent!! Thankyou sooo much for your reviews D**

**And also to TickleBug because you guessed what happens in this chapter )**

* * *

I sat down on the Black's couch. It reminded me of millions of things at once, memories not only of a childhood almost forgotten but the conversations and situation that this couch had seen or heard in its lengthy lifetime.

I looked up at Jacob, who hadn't sat down, and who was still smiling so wide it looked almost painful.

"So…" I said, bewildered by his excitement. "Where's Billy?" I asked deliberately, knowing I was annoying him by not addressing his 'exciting news'.

"'Dunno," he said, raising his brows at me and widening his eyes to try and silently convey a point. I was reminded at that point that perhaps this new was something he couldn't tell me outright because Sam may have instructed him not to, but my gut told me that that wasn't it.

Jacob just wanted me to ask why he was so excited.

Rather than to watch him burst from the strain his silent communication was causing him – though it was rather amusing to witness – I rolled my eyes and said "So what's new, Jake?"

I had barely gotten my sentence out when Jacob blurted the words he'd been dying to tell me.

"I imprinted."

There was dead silence for a heartbeat, and then I'd thrown myself at Jake so hard I was surprised he was able to catch me. I hugged him very tightly, feeling tears creep into my eyes.

The tears were there for many reasons.

First, because I was so happy for Jake. He'd found someone who he loved more than anything, who he could spend the rest of his life with if he wanted to. And someone who I was ninety percent sure he would be able to _have_.

Second, because this meant I could go ahead and marry Edward without fearing the loss of Jacob. If he was as happy as I saw Sam was with Emily, then there would be no underlying resentment to Edward and Jake would come to my wedding. There was a good chance he would want to know me once we were on opposite sides of _that line_.

And third, I was crying because I'd just had a surge of the stupidest and most inconvenient emotion that could possibly occur in this situation.

Jealously.

I knew right away that I was not going to be happy if I didn't approve whole-heartedly of this girl. She was going to have to live up to some very high standards to be good enough for _my_ Jacob Black.

It was stupid of me to think this, I had revoked my claim on Jake back when he'd decided to run. It was just a good thing that their weird wolfy mind thing worked across continental obstacles.

"That's great Jake!" I exclaimed when I pulled back from him. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked at my face, which I was sure was torn with many emotions; some completely reasonable while others so silly that I wanted to shout at myself for even feeling them.

Jake was too happy to notice anything, so he just took my tears as a good thing.

"That must be a girl-thing to do, because Emily cried when I told her too. And she nearly flattened my like you, too." He laughed and let go of me, sitting back down on the couch. I sat beside him and hurriedly wiped the sleeve of my shirt across my eyes.

"So, tell me about her!"

His face immediately lit up. He moved to sit more on the edge of the couch, clasping his hands together. Because his moods had always been infectious to me, I crossed my legs and turned to look at him, feeling just as eager as he seemed. In the back of my head the little green monster was kicking and banging things around, but I managed to stifle it and concentrate on what Jake was saying – for now.

"Well, do you want to know how beautiful she is or how I met her first?"

I laughed, probably a silly reaction, but Jake's huge grin was rubbing off on me. "Where you met."

"Okay.' He rubbed his hands together, and I could almost see the story playing like a film behind his eyes as he talked.

"I was patrolling around the borders two days ago with Paul, and we were starting to get bored. I know it wasn't very professional, but we made a bet on who could run to the border between our land and the Cullen's the fastest. So we were about to start, and I was counting to three in my head to signal the 'go', when Paul decides to be a fool and starts when I'm only up to 'two'. So when he bolted I was after him, and we started wrestling when I caught up to him by the road. We knew it was a bit risky but there wasn't anyone around, and we thought we'd hear someone before they saw us.

Then I shouldered Paul and he went flying into a tree – then he got stuck – so I turned back into a human so I could laugh at him properly. Then, when I wasn't looking at him, he decided to be a tool and nudged me over the edge of this ledge thing onto the road."

I gasped, thinking that I would very much like to give Paul a hearty smack in the jaw if given the opportunity. Jacob guessed what I was thinking and started laughing.

"Don't hold it against him Bella, he's an idiot, besides, it was the best thing he's ever done!

So I rolled out onto the road -"

"Wait a minute," I said, looking at him sceptically. "Did you put pants on after you changed?"

Jake rolled his eyes at me. "Yes Bella."

"Okay. Continue."

"So I rolled onto the road, and this car swerves to avoid me. A four-wheeled drive or something. It nearly smacks into a tree, but I'd managed to get up and I grabbed the back bumper of it before it left the road. I was worried that whoever was in the car was now very freaked out – both by nearly hitting someone then by being stopped dead on the road by an unseen force. So I got around to the driver's side window, and pulled open the door."

I smiled then, knowing what was coming next by the dreamy expression that came over his face.

"And there she was. Even with a little cut across her forehead and even though she was unconscious, she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. No angel could compare.

Beautiful silky blond hair, long legs, perfect skin, long eyelashes, and lips that I wanted to do things to until I was a wrinkled ol- "

"Okay Jake, point taken!"

"Sorry." He smiled and continued. "So I unbuckled her and carried her up to where I knew Paul was laughing at me. I told him to get the car and drive it back to my place because I was going to carry this girl over to Emily's place, and for him to meet me there once he'd moved the car. He didn't get why I nearly pulled his head off when he whistled at her in my arms, but he went and moved the car anyway.

So while I was running with her, I nearly ran into every tree I passed because I couldn't look away from her beautiful face, and she smelled so good that I nearly slowed down just so I could be with her for longer."

"Aww," I cooed, thinking that this girl must be gorgeous beyond all means. Jake smiled wider as he continued.

"So I eventually got to Emily's, and she was there, baking. I told her what happened, and she couldn't make me leave the room. I didn't understand what was happening, why I couldn't leave her and nearly screamed when Emily suggested I leave to get Sam or something."

"Couldn't you tell?" I asked, thinking that imprinting was just like falling in love at first sight, only stronger.

"Not really. I've only seen imprinting in the other guys' heads and they're all a bit different. But I just couldn't make myself leave her.

Eventually Paul turned up, and he was grumbling the whole time so I told him to bugger off and man the borders by himself. He was happy to oblige.

Emily eventually told me that she was pretty sure the girl had just suffered whiplash and a small cut and that she would be fine. But I wouldn't go. Emily got pretty annoyed that I wouldn't even go outside to change and tell Paul to get Sam or someone, so she had to drive into town to find someone.

When she was gone the girl woke up. I had been walking around for about ten or fifteen minutes when I heard her mumble something. I kneeled at the edge of the couch until she opened her eyes. She said 'hello' to me, and I remember the sound of her voice perfectly. It was so pretty… I wish I could record it and play it over and over again."

I was nearly bursting with happiness for Jake at this point. Even thinking about this girl made him so happy, and it made me happy to see him happy.

"Keep going," I urged.

"So I tried to see if she was concussed, I held up a few fingers and asked her how many I was holding up, and she got it right every time so I let her sit up. I got her some ice, and when she took it from me her hand brushed mine. It was like someone had shocked me with static electricity or something. I suddenly had the biggest urge to kiss her, but being the gentleman I am – " I scowled at him, but then smiled at his sheepish expression " – I moved away from her so I wouldn't scare her. She asked what happened and I told her I was messing with a friend in the woods when he shoved me over the ledge, she swerved to avoid me, and I grabbed the back of her car to stop her hitting a tree. She just nodded like grabbing full-sized cars was a normal thing, then she was unconscious again.

Sam got back and got me to carry her out to the car, where I sat with her in the back. Sam took us to Forks Hospital, and Carlisle was looking after her last I saw her."

"That's so sweet Jake!!" And it was sweet, it was incredibly good, other than the fact that she might not remember anything when she woke up because she was probably only half conscious during their conversations. But something sounded a bit odd to me, so I voiced my question. "Why didn't Emily take you to the hospital?"

"I think she wanted Sam to be there to tell me to shut my mouth if she were to ask me what happened in front of other people. She could tell I'd imprinted and I would be putting the whole pack in danger if I blabbed about what we were."

"Oh." That made sense. Suddenly, there was a buzzing in my pocket. Edward's phone. I pulled it out and saw on the called ID that it was Alice. I smiled at Jacob and stood, heading for the hall. "Just a sec Jake, this won't take long."

I moved out into the hall while Jake slumped back on the cushions of his couch. I knew he was going to hear me no matter where I went in the house, but I thought it was polite to offer to leave to room anyway.

"Hello?" I said, flipping open the shiny silver phone.

"Bella, its Edward," his silky voice came through the phone and I felt like my chest had released a hold I hadn't realised was there.

"Hi," I said, feeling unreasonably happy at hearing him say my name.

I could hear his smile as he spoke again. "Still at the Blacks'?"

"Yep."

"Okay. Well, Alice needs you for some fabric swatches or something so for the sake of those of us who are in the same house as her, please be quick?" He didn't sound demanding, and he didn't sound like he had other intentions or concerns with me spending my afternoon with a werewolf, so I laughed into the phone.

"I'll be quick, I promise."

"Thankyou," he said in a rush, exhaling in a way that suggested he'd been putting up with Alice's ranting about fabrics for a fairly long time. "I love you, Bella," he said tenderly into the phone.

"I love you more. See you soon."

"Bella," he said, and I knew he was going to catch me out on my 'more' comment, so I hung up with a smile on my face, knowing that I was going to have to deal with him soon enough anyway.

Jake appeared around the corner then, leaning on the door frame with his mouth crumpled to one side. He'd head my conversation, obviously.

"It's rude to eavesdrop you know."

"I can't help it! That's like saying to you, it's rude to think!"

I rolled my eyes, knowing by his tone and how his face was pulling into a smile that he was joking.

I moved over to him and gave him a hug. "I'm really sorry Jake. But this just means I've got an excuse to come and see you again soon! Maybe I can even meet her," I added, pulling back and nudging him in the ribs with my elbow as I turned away for the door.

He laughed before he answered. "You shouldn't need an excuse, Bella."

"I don't, but all the same it's still nice to have a reason. We wouldn't want this girl of yours to think I want you all to myself, would we?"

He had to laugh at that, knowing full well that I wanted him all for myself, even though I didn't want him the way he'd wanted me… before.

"Then I better be seeing you here again soon, Miss Swan."

"You got yourself a deal," I said, crossing the carpet to hug him quickly again. "I'd better go, Alice and brandishing material around the Cullen's now apparently."

"See ya Bella, drive safely. I hear there are some dopey werewolves that come tumbling out of the forests sometimes." He laughed as I smiled and waved, then crossed the threshold of the Black's home to get to my car.

I had just crossed the place where Edward used to drop me off to meet Jacob in the stand-off days when I smacked myself in the forehead, realising I'd completely forgotten something obvious. I pulled over and flicked on the cabin light as I dug the phone out of my pocket. I pressed it to my ear once the Black's home number had been dialled and the 'call' button had been pushed, then I flicked off the cabin light again because I didn't need to see anything while I spoke. Jake picked up after three rings.

"Hello," he said, his voice sounding so husky that I was sure I'd just woken him.

"Sorry Jake, did I wake you?"

"Nah, nah, what's the problem Bella?" He sounded concerned. I suppose he had good reason, I'd only been gone for between five and ten minutes and I was calling him.

I cleared my throat, feeling like an idiot for forgetting, "What's your imprint girl's name?"

"Oh!" He started laughing, and I felt good that he'd obviously not thought about it either. "I'm sorry, I thought I mentioned it at some point during the story. Her name's Lauren Mallory."

I was completely silent. Dear God.

"Oh, sorry Bella, Billy's here. I've gotta go help Sue get him into the wheelchair. Speak to you later!" He sounded cheerful, despite my lack of words after his mini-bombshell.

I sat perfectly still for a moment, phone pressed to my ear and the dial tone reverberating constantly. I closed it eventually, the little blue light going out.

Suddenly, the seat of the truck was pressed against my cheek. Lauren Mallory.

**Please review!! Hope this was a good chapter, it's past midnight so sorry if this was dodgy )**

**Thanks to everyone who reviews and adds to favourites, and puts me or the story on alert D it makes my day that much better!!**


	5. Tylenol

**Hey everyone! Thanks tons for your reviews, I love seeing them!! This isn't a long chapter, just a little fluff really, but there's nothing wrong with that!**

I came back to consciousness with a lovely sweet smell filling my nostrils. It took me a moment to realise the gold that was filtering through my vision was Edward's doona cover, and that the sweet smell was Edward himself.

Worried about what had happened the last time I was in his room, I nearly broke my neck trying to look up at him as fast as I could. Fortunately, his eyes were a glimmering gold not unlike the shining silk that I was seated on.

I rubbed my neck as I sat up, and Edward put his arm around my waist to help me.

"What happened?" I asked, pressing my palm to my forehead. I was getting a headache.

"Alice saw you," Edward answered simply.

"Oh." I squinted my eyes shut and tried to ignore the throbbing pain that was increasing in my skull.

"Headache?" he asked, leaning around to look me in the face. I kept my eyes closed while I nodded, but stopped almost straight away because it felt like my brain was bouncing around in my skull. "Tylenol?"

"Two, please." Edward gently pushed me away from his body as he stood. "Thanks."

Before I'd had enough time to slump down on the pillows, Edward had returned in a blur and was holding out a glass of water and two Tylenol.

"Head up," he said quietly as I downed the first tablet. He started rubbing small circles on my back with his icy hand as I swallowed the second.

I settled myself into his cold embrace as I waited for the pills to take effect. Despite my knowledge that it couldn't have made the headache go away once the second pill had slid down my throat, I started to feel better almost immediately. Though I think it had something more to do with Edward's presence and the sound of his velvet voice as he hummed my lullaby.

"I love you," I drawled into his t-shirt.

His body started to shake with silent laughter, and I sat up, wondering what was so funny. The beauty in his face as he laughed was entirely unfair, but I still stared at him like an idiot.

"What?" I asked, resting my hands on his arms, which were wrapped around my waist.

He contained himself for a moment while he answered. "I just remembered what you said on the phone." I looked at him with a blank expression, unable to remember what I had been doing five minutes ago, let alone during my last phone conversation. "You said you loved me 'more', and then shut the phone before I could properly protest."

I remembered _that_ now. I knew it would have been smarter to deny it, but I'd stayed silent for a moment too long to do that now, so I just nodded. "It's the truth."

Edward sighed, and I knew that he would have wiped away a tear of laughter if that were possible. "I don't even need to say that I love you more than you'll ever know, because you know it good and well in your _still beating_ heart. That right there should be enough proof that I love you more, Miss Swan." I rolled my eyes and he huffed slightly, evidently turning to a new plan of attack. "Should I show how much I love you then?"

"You-"

But my words were cut off, because once Edward's lips were on mine I immediately forgot what it was I was about to say. The marble of his lips moved gently against my own, both very soft and very cold. I shivered and pulled myself closer to him, my hands clutching to his shoulders then reaching up to tangle in his silken hair. I mumbled 'Mmm' into his mouth and he responded by parting his lips and encouraging me to do the same with his tongue.

Once the concentration of his breath hit my senses, I did what I always do. My hands tangled tighter and I pulled my body as close to his as I could. I slid my own tongue out and touched his bottom lip, and I felt the rumble in his chest as he growled seductively. His hands around my back tightened and I was completely pressed up against his arctic form, my heart thudding unevenly in my chest. One of his hands slid up my spine – and I shivered at the touch – to tangle in my own hair. Knowing that the kiss was coming to an end, I found his tongue with my own and tasted his beautiful taste before his hand gently slid around to my cheek to push me carefully away.

Panting worse than ever, I slid down his body to wrap my arms around his torso and listen to his breathing. His lung patterns weren't that much different to mine, I realised as I listened.

"If I can stop, I love you more," he whispered into my hair.

"Nuh, uh," I protested, believing that he was looking at the wrong end of the scale. "I can't let you go, so I love you more."

"I'll never let you go, Bella," he said, and tightened his hold around my body to illustrate his point, "but if I can protect your virtue this well, then I win."

I sighed and buried my face in his shirt, breathing in his delectable scent, and not bothering to answer because I knew he wouldn't admit that he was wrong any time soon. Besides, soon enough I was going to have all of eternity to convince him otherwise.

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**Sorry it was so short, the next one will be longer, promise!! Pleeeease review... it makes me update much quicker!**

**Love you all!!**


	6. The Reason

**Hey!! Sorry about the long wait, but wow! There are tons of people that have signed up for alerts on this story. I love you all! I hope this chapter is better than the last, I hopefully made it long enough. As always, thanks for the reviews on the last chapter!**

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"So," Edward said, standing up and walking over to his wall of music. "What happened while you were over at Jacob's?"

I suddenly remembered Jacob's news, and how horrible it was – and the fact that Edward had only needed to come and rescue me because I had fainted at the news of his imprint victim. Wait, no, I take that back. _Jake_ was definitely the victim in this situation.

"Well, I have some good news and some bad news."

"Okay," he said, turning back to me.

"The good news is, Lauren Mallory is in the hospital." Edward tried to frown at me but I could see the smile fighting behind the scowl. "The bad news is that Jacob imprinted on her."

Edward was perfectly silent for a moment… then he burst out laughing. "Lauren Mallory?!" He doubled over laughing, and pulled himself toward the bed to sit down beside me.

I frowned properly at him. "Edward. This is so not funny."

"Oh, it's very funny to me. Honestly, Lauren Mallory? Ha!" He kept laughing so I hit him in the shoulder to try and make him pull himself together.

"Okay, are you done?"

He wiped a fake tear from his eye and tried to smooth his expression. "Yes, I'm done."

"What am I meant to do about this? Lauren is a horrible person! She shouldn't be allowed to _touch_ Jake, let alone have him fall in love with her!"

Edward stared at me for a moment with an unreadable expression. "Are you jealous, Bella?"

"Of course I am! He's my best friend, and I love him, even though I love you more. I can't sit by and watch him fall in love with possibly the most horrible person on the planet."

"Bella, Bella, Bella. People can't help who they fall in love with. Besides, Lauren might turn out to not be such a horrible person after all, if Jacob can bring out her good side the way you bring out mine."

I started to protest but he held up one impossibly perfect finger to stop me.

"Now, if you want Jake to be happy then you'll let this play out. I think Lauren will try and mess with you because she knows you're good friends with Jacob, so you're going to have to perfect your patience."

"Trust me, after being around Alice for this wedding, my patience is infallible." I suddenly remembered why I had been heading here. "By the way, where is she? Wasn't she meant to be showering me with swatches of material or something?"

Edward sighed, and I could see what he was thinking before he voiced it. "Because you were, uh, unavailable in her vision, she made Esme help her." The relief was clear in his voice and it was clear in my expression.

"At least we've already got the wedding dress though."

"Yes, that's lucky. I don't think you would have legs left after shopping with Alice for a wedding dress."

I laughed and hugged Edward. My thoughts wandered back to Jacob.

"So you think I should just give her a chance?"

He looked down at me, and I looked up at him, feeling wobbly under the gaze of his warm eyes. "Yes. If she's really as horrible as usual, then, well." He looked thoughtful. "Then we'll worry about it when it happens."

"Is there any chance of imprinting being reversed?" I asked hopefully.

"No, I don't think so. If anything, it gets stronger over time. Look at Sam and Emily, for example. They have stuck together perfectly through extremely tough times."

"Darn it," I muttered under my breath.

Edward kissed my hair. "It will be alright, Bella."

"I hope so."

We sat in silence for a while, then Edward got up and started playing with his sound system. I watched his hands glide over the covers and move in flashes until he found what he wanted. He then took out the CD's he wanted and stacked them into the player, and played with the countless buttons at his disposal.

"That's very distracting, you know." He said suddenly, and I jumped a bit. "I usually can't do anything properly when you're around, but to know that you're watching me makes it worse."

"Welcome to my world, Edward." I smiled at him as he looked at me over his shoulder. "I'm always this distracted when you're around."

Some music started softly playing through the speakers, and Edward turned around and sat back down on the bed beside me. I played with his hands for a while as we listened; I didn't know the music but he hummed along with the words perfectly.

"Bella!" came a tinkling voice through the door.

"Hey, Alice, how are you?" I said as she pushed the door open and came into the room.

"I'm great! I've been having fun with Esme, picking out colours for the bridesmaids dresses and the tablecloths and what the guy's ties will be like."

"Oh," I said, feeling a little guilty. "Thanks for doing this, Alice."

I wasn't exactly happy that I was being forced into a full scale wedding, but Alice was happily making all the arrangements for me and I knew it would mean a lot to Edward, so Alice deserved her praise.

"I knew you would thank me for this, Bella. I told you so!"

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't thanking her on _my_ behalf, but if deluding herself made her happy then she could delude herself all she wanted.

"How's Jasper?" I asked, thankful for the subject-changing thought.

"I don't know, he seems to disappear every time I pull out the colours I'm considering for the ties." She looked thoughtful. "I think I'll go and find him."

She got up and turned to leave, but Edward called her back.

"Yes?" She asked, curious.

Edward closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again. I guessed he had been scanning for Jasper's thoughts, because he said, "He's out in the clearing. Try to sneak up on him, because he's waiting for you to come for him."

"Okay!" She said brightly, skipping to the door. "Thanks. See you later Bella!" She waved, then she was gone and the door was shut again.

"Poor Jasper," I muttered. Edward didn't miss it.

"He'll get over it. I think he was Alice's Barbie doll before you came along and brightened my life."

I blushed but ignored his comment. _He_ had brightened _my_ life, not the other way around.

"So, Bella." Edward said, and he looked across at me. I took a moment to look back at him, carefully composing my features into a blank expression, because I was quite sure what was coming. "Have you thought any more about my proposal?"

"What proposal?" I asked, hoping to skip the topic by playing dumb. Edward wasn't that kind.

"You having a child."

"Oh." I looked at him, but he didn't say anything. I sighed and tried to sort out my thoughts. "Well, I think it's both a good idea and a bad idea. If I have a child, I'm going to have to go through the process, you know, cravings, pain, mood swings, plus the actual birth which I doubt will be pretty for any of us." I looked down at my hands and started playing with them. "Then, I'll be all lumpy and post-baby-body when you change me, and I don't really want to be like that for the rest of my life. Existence," I corrected. "But I think it would be really good for Esme to look after a child–"

"Esme?" Edward interrupted.

"Oh, right, I hadn't told you yet. I thought Esme and Carlisle might like to look after the baby for me? I trust them; I know it will be totally safe."

"Bella, they would love that." He smiled at me so beautifully it almost broke my heart just looking a him.

"How do you know that?"

He tapped his temple and said, "Built in radar, remember? They heard you, and I heard them."

"Oh. Okay, that's cool then."

"Yes. Very. Continue," he traced a finger across my hands, which were still twisted around each other.

"My biggest obstacle with this is, what about the child? It will have to grow up without a real mother or father, in a house full of vampires, and probably caught in the middle of a war between werewolves and its family. I don't think it would be fair on the child."

"Well, there's always an alternative for that."

"Is there?" I asked, dumbstruck that I may not have thought of what he was about to say.

"You could always stay human?"

I stood up, stupidly angry. "Edward," I said venomously. "Are you trying to trick me into staying human?!"

This scenario had been considered; but I had never actually thought it was the real reason.

"Come on, Bella, you have to give me credit for trying. Plus, you don't seem quite so averted to the idea anymore. What's the harm? It'll only be ten or twenty years."

_What!?_

"Twenty years! No, no, no, no. No way. No goddam way!"

I spun around and headed for the door, but Edward caught me around the middle and pulled me down beside him.

"Bella, please. I want the best for you."

"What's best for me is what _I_ want!"

"I don't think it is. You don't know what you're getting into." He looked at me with pleading eyes, and it normally would have worked had I not been so furious.

"I know exactly what I'm getting into. And I _want_ this. I want _you_." I stared at him, and his pleading expression seemed to buckle.

"Okay," he said softly. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to." Suddenly, his mood swung and he caught me around the face with his hands. "But please, please think about this. You may not want a child now, but think in ten years, wont you want so much to be a mother?"

I bit my tongue to stop myself from telling him that I wasn't interested in motherhood, nor had I even thought about it before his proposal.

"Okay." I said stiffly. He seemed appeased, but I was still quite annoyed, so I stood up. "I have stuff to do at home. I'll see you later."

He didn't stop me this time, but I could tell without looking back that he wanted to. I practically ran down the hallway, stupid angry tears welling in my eyes. I got to the top of the stairs when I heard Alice and Jasper's voices from farther down the hall, Jasper complaining about the pins being poked into his suit and Alice telling him to stop being a baby.

I almost smiled, but practically fell down the stairs in my rush. The fact that my vision was cloudy didn't help. I got halfway down the steps easily, but then found myself flying as my foot caught on something invisible. I started to scream as my head came closer and closer to the steps below, but was cut off mid-breath.

I shouldn't have been surprised to find myself caught in Edward's arms, but the emotion was still there.

"Oh," I said in a huff as he set me down.

"Are you okay?" He asked in a very concerned voice. I turned to him, with tears in my eyes, and I felt my heart swell painfully large as I saw the real regret and hurt in his eyes.

"Yes," I said, and hugged him tightly, sniffing.

We stood like that on the stairs for a moment, then I heard a yell coming from Jasper and Alice's direction. I looked up at Edward, who was smiling, and muttered something about needing to cook dinner. Edward smiled and let me go, kissing my forehead as he stepped back up the stairs and headed for the sound of Jasper's loudly constant complaints.

I had a smile on my face as I closed my truck door and headed home, and tried to not think about what I was meant to do about the events that had recently occurred in my life.

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**Okay guys, I know you want to... review!! )**


	7. Suggestion

**Hey, hey!! I know you (well... some of you anyway) have been missing my story, so here's a bite for you. I've calculated that this story will be eleven or twelve chapters long, so I'm over half way there. And this typing has been done on time which should have been spent studying! Hope you like it!**

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**C****hapter 7 – Suggestion**

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When I got home, I tried to do my homework. I got out my books and spread the papers around me, but after a few minutes I would always end up staring out the window. Elbow digging into the tabletop, chin resting on palm, I would watch the tree outside my room sway with the evening Forks breeze. Without realising it, I was sighing every few minutes as my thoughts tossed and turned in my head like wet socks in a washing machine.

What was I meant to do? Was having a child the right thing to do? And as for the Jacob problem… no. It was more of an 'issue' than a 'problem' – at least, until Lauren started rubbing it in my face. As for that, I was completely at a loss. I just hoped like anything that everything would miraculously turn out alright.

_Fat chance._

Eventually, the tapping of my fingers on my cheek started to sound like the ticking of clock hands, and I was reminded that Charlie needed feeding. I groaned as I pushed my chair back and stood, feeling many joints clicking and cracking. Blood rushed down in to my fingertips and gave me a tingly feeling for a few seconds.

As I'd expected, Charlie was waiting to be fed. The lounge light and television were both on so I was surprised to see him in the kitchen when I walked in, digging around like an alien on a foreign planet. He was bent over an open cupboard door under the sink (one I knew to contain only 'hazardous if consumed' substances), shuffling around and making interested noises every few seconds.

"Dad," I said, wondering if giving him a fright was a good idea or not.

He jumped and dropped something, but luckily didn't hit his head. "You gave me a start there, kiddo," he said with a crinkly grin, turning to see me.

"What are you doing in the cleaning cupboard?" I asked, crossing the tiles and scooping up the bottle of bleach that'd rolled across the floor.

Charlie looked a little sheepish, knowing he was caught. "I got a little hungry was all. Just looking for something before dinner." He crossed to the table and leant on the back of his chair. "But I wasn't sure where to find a snack."

I closed the knee-height doors and started fiddling around expertly (showing off my knowledge of the kitchen just a little) to collect the things I needed to whip up something edible.

"Well, there's no need for snacks. Dinner should be ready soon."

I saw my Dad nod thankfully and head back into the lounge, then I heard the groan of the couch springs as he sat.

I worked on dinner for a while, cooking some rice and vegetables with a bit of ham for a makeshift dish. It mustn't have tasted too bad to a third party, because Charlie 'mmmm'd as he ate, and even asked for seconds.

"Sure thing, it's over there," I said, pointing to a dish on the cupboard.

As Charlie vacuumed through his second serving, I did the dishes and put them on the sink to dry. A minute later a pair of hands were drying and putting things away, and I smiled at my Dad as I pulled the plug from the sink.

"Thanks," I said.

"No problem. I'll be watching the game," he said, hanging his tea towel over the oven door handle.

"'Kay." I reached over and dried my hands on the hand-towel. "I'll be in my room."

And a minute later, Charlie was back on his suburban throne and I was upstairs battling the homework demon.

It took a while, but eventually I finished the assigned Calculus questions, along with a close reading for English.

The television sounds were still filtering up the stairs when I went to the bathroom for a shower, but were gone when I emerged. The downstairs lights were off and Charlie's bedroom door was closed.

Stripy green flannelette pants and a black tank top clinging to my slightly dewy post-shower body, I bundled a towel to my head and went to my room.

I shouldn't have been surprised to see Edward there, considering my thoughts had been all about him since I'd left his place this afternoon, but I was. The towel almost toppled from my head when I jumped, and this made Edward smile – which made me smile.

"You're here," I clarified, unnecessarily.

"Yes."

I sat down beside him on the bed and tipped my head to the side, catching the damp towel. I dried my hair with my head to the side, and watched Edward as I did so. He seemed to be taking less breaths than usual.

"Are you okay?" I asked, hanging the towel over the end of my bed.

"I'm perfect when you're with me," he said, but I could see the strain in his face when he took a replacement breath.

I stood up and walked to my dresser, then leaned back against it as I pulled my hair into a bundle and secured it there. I crossed my arms and waited for him to look up from the floor at his feet to my face.

His eyes were gold, but they had the appearance of an unpolished gem. The potential for dazzling beauty was there but it was being masked by something that refused to move. I remembered something then, and I folded my arms as my thoughts stitched together.

"Where is the rest of your family tonight?"

"Home," he answered, but he was too convincing. Like he had been expecting my question and awaiting the opportunity to give his answer.

"Uh huh," I said. Edward was not one to make assumptions about, so I decided to be sure before I sent him away to hunt.

I crossed the carpet and sat beside him on the bed, our legs and shoulders touching. He looked tender enough as he put a hand to my cheek, but I could see the slight contraction of his pupils just before he closed his eyes. I knew from experience that this was something he did when he was trying to resist his… 'monster'.

_But to be completely sure…_

He slid his hand down my shoulder to my palm, and weaved his fingers through mine. I leaned forward and touched my cheek to his, carefully turning so that our noses were in line. His amber eyes flared, but the black under them darkened. It was a strange combination, but all the more beautiful to me.

"Edward," I whispered, knowing that my breath was tickling right under his nose and that my neck was fully exposed. But what I also knew was that Edward would never, ever hurt me, and it would take one hell of a slip in his perfect self-control to do so.

He swallowed before answering. "Bella?"

"I think," I said, turning my head more so that his cheek was being patterned by the tip of my nose. "I think you need to hunt tonight. Just like your family are."

His eyes closed, and I knew he knew I was right.

"That sounds like a good suggestion."

I pulled back and watched as he relaxed – though not very much. He stood up, then leaned down to me as I folded my legs on the bed.

"Just one thing before I go," he said gently, overwhelming my delicate senses. "Actually, two things. The first is that I love you, and I'll be back soon. The second is that though you're unsure about having a child, I do want you to think about it. I believe a talk with Rosalie would be beneficial for you."

I was too dazzled to notice anything else, so I just agreed. "Okay."

He leant in further and gently touched his lips to my forehead, lingering there for a moment. His hand brushed my cheek, leaving behind a trail of icy fire, and making my heart touch my ribs for its size.

"I'll see you soon, Bella."

And then he was gone, the window shivering slightly behind him. I wondered how he had managed to do that but knew that almost anything was possible for vampires, so I stood and flicked on my bed side lamp before turning off the overhead one. A moment later and I was snuggling down under my covers, my thoughts a buzz with Edward's former presence. Something in my memory tried to battle the well-constructed walls of blissful happiness I'd made, and I allowed it through.

"_I believe a talk with Rosalie would be beneficial for you."_

_What?!_

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**Well!! What do we think? But no, no; there's no use chatting to a computer monitor, is there? So, let your fingers do the walking and review your opinions to me!**

**Thanks for reading! New chapter as soon as I can, promise!**

**-Shaps**


	8. Rosalie and Esme

**Another chapter! Wow! Are we all excited and such? Lol. I hope so. Thanks a big bunch for your reviews, guys, I really appreciate them! It makes me write through the days I don't feel as inspired as others. But hey, I think this chapter's okay, even if it is a little short.**

**Read on!**

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**Chapter 8 – Rosalie and Esme**

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"So, how did Edward get you to agree to this?"

Rosalie was sitting opposite me in the Cullen's living area. Her blonde hair was swept over one shoulder, her silken hands clasped together over her knees. Her eyes were taking in my every move like I was a piece of meat she was eager to pounce on.

I swallowed largely.

"He suggested, and I agreed."

She knew there was more to the story than that, but was chivalrous enough not to ask.

"Edward will be listening from his room, you know," she said.

I looked over to the staircase leading upstairs. "I know."

"Then why are you having a 'private' chat with me about children if you know Edward can hear everything you say?"

"Because, I want him to know that I'm thinking this through properly, not handling it like a stubborn little kid." I pulled my feet up and leant on the armrest beside me. "So, convince me to have kids."

Recently, I'd become more accustomed to Rosalie's dislike of me. I learned that nothing I did could change that until my heart was as cold and still as hers. I secretly hoped that I wouldn't end up as bitter as her if I made the wrong decision over this matter.

Rosalie cleared her throat, and I pressed my lips together to prevent any comments from escaping.

"You already know the story of how I became this way," she said, fiddling with her hair to make it all fall over her shoulder. "And I expect you're aware that I don't like you very much, though I wonder if you know exactly why?

"I have always wanted children. It was expected of a woman in my time; get married to a rich man and produce lots of chubby, happy, healthy babies. But it was something more than that, I think. I wanted someone to be mine, to really _belong_ to me. I wanted a daughter or son because they would love me for who I was, because I was their mother, and not because of the way I looked. I loved the attention, yes, but sometimes it was tiresome to have people stroking my hair and telling me how pretty I looked. It was like being part of a never ending, badly-written script.

"And I came so close to that one longing… but as you know, it was taken away from me by my _fiancé._"

I flinched when she accidentally tore off a chunk of the couch. She tossed it to the side like it was a piece of lint she'd picked from her shirt.

"You know how we are changed?" she asked me. She waited for a response. I nodded once, my lips still welded together. "Well, the pain of that was nothing to the heartache I experienced one I realised I could never be a mother. It has lessened somewhat since Emmett became part of my life, but is still there in all its burning glory."

She looked at me with her metallic gold eyes glinting dangerously. "I would not have chosen this life for myself, nor for my greatest enemy. It is like being a God who can do nothing as her people are tormented less than an arm's length away." I couldn't feel my legs attached to my torso as she bore into my eyes. "You will regret not being able to have children, Bella. I assure you of that. You might not want them now, but once you realise you truly cannot have them, you'll wish so badly it wasn't so."

There was silence in the air as we stared at each other. I'd have gladly looked away, but I couldn't move. I was a deer in the headlights.

Then, both Rose and I jumped as Esme came into the room. Apparently Rosalie had been so wrapped up in our conversation that she hadn't heard the kindly woman approaching. Esme smiled but didn't speak, instead crossing the carpet to sit beside Rosalie.

"So, you're thinking of having a child?" she said, and I nodded, feeling deja-vu kick in. "Hmm." She looked thoughtful. "Why?"

I hadn't been asked this question before. Everyone had given me their opinions on the situation, but no one had inquired about the origin of the topic.

"Edward suggested it," I said.

Esme nodded like she had expected as much. Beside her, Rose leaned back and allowed Esme to take the conversational reins.

"Well, for that very reason, I don't think you're ready to be a mother." Esme seemed to be talking to herself rather than talking to me, so I stayed quiet. "But in a few years," she looked up at my face, "you will be ready. And you may regret this. But I don't know when that will be, and if it will occur at all. It's ultimately going to be your decision, whether you are changed or not. Because it is your life.

"And I know you would have made contingency plans, so tell me about them." She waited patiently for my response, and Rosalie looked up from inspecting her hair to watch me think.

"If I had a child," I said, trying to be careful with my words, "if I did that, then I would still want to be with Edward. I would still want to be one of you. So I thought that maybe I could leave the baby with you and Carlisle," I spoke solely to Esme now, "because I know you two would be excellent parents."

"I thought as much," she said kindly. "Carlisle and I overheard you the other night. And we were touched, really. But we couldn't do that."

I was stunned. "Why not?"

"Bella, Bella," she reached forward and held my hands between her own icy ones. "I couldn't bear to take a child from you, for one. I would be even more afraid to hurt it, because babies and young children fall a lot. They get sick. I couldn't bear to lose another child and I don't think Carlisle could handle it for the first time. We wouldn't be able to stay here in Forks; everyone knows I can't have children. We can't pass for our fake ages for much longer anyway. The child would need a stable environment to grow up in.

"Then, what happens when he or she learns about other mummies and daddy's? What do we tell them? That we're it? And what about the day you and Edward return from your 'blood-lusting'? The child would be put through too much, it wouldn't be fair.

"Then there's the issue of us being what we are. How do we tell the child that, when they're not the same? And if they become old enough to request what you want now; if they want to become one of us?"

I flinched. I was beginning to understand where she was heading with this.

"There are too many things that can go wrong, Bella. Too many. I would love to be the carer of your child, but I couldn't handle to be the one to hurt your child either. That is why this is my advice; you can't choose 'baby' and 'vampire' all at once. It's one or the other."

We three sat in silence for an unmeasured number of minutes. Soon though, my mind had come up with a win-win situation.

"Can't I adopt?"

Esme smiled but shook her head. "The moving, the blood, the injuries, the wanting to be one of us. It would all still be there."

I felt frustrated tears build in my eyes. _It could have worked. I'm sure it could have._

"But I trust you, Esme!" I said, feeling angry at myself.

"I don't trust myself."

I was beginning to feel desperate. "Rosalie?"

She just shook her head.

"No!" I stood up, my hands at my sides. "Those can't be the options! I want Edward more than anything. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. But I don't want to be childless either!"

Esme stood up and put her wintry arm around my shoulders. "It's okay honey. It's okay. You don't have to decide right now. You've got plenty of time." I couldn't see her, but I knew she had turned her head somehow. "Edward," she called quietly, and I knew that when a pair of arms picked me up from failing legs a moment later that neither Rosalie nor Esme were responsible.

"Edward," I spluttered into his shirt. I grabbed handfuls of it and buried my face. I couldn't understand why I was so upset, and it made me even more upset to be so oblivious to my own emotions.

I heard Edward muttering something over my head, and a moment later the tears stopped. The hurt was still in my heart, but my limbs weren't shaking with mild hysteria anymore. The coldness throughout my body wasn't because of Edward's ice-like pallor; it was all inside my own bones. I sensed we were moving up stairs and guessed that Jasper had had something to do with my unreasonable and sudden calmness.

Then Edward was laying me down onto what I was sure was his bed, and something suddenly clicked. It was unfortunate that Jasper wasn't within the vicinity to keep my emotions under wraps, because I started to shake with racking pain when I realised something that should have been obvious long ago.

_I want to be a mother just as much as I want Edward._

**Again, sorry for the shortness.**

**Review?**

**-Shaps**


	9. Movie

**Sorry for such a delay, but I was waiting for inspiration before I completed this chapter. I hope you all enjoy it!**

**Just something quick before you read on:**

**"If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars."** **- William Shakespeare.**

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**Chapter 9 – Movie**

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It was now one week since my little episode with Rosalie and Esme. Every time I closed my eyes, or whenever there was silence in a room, their faces and words would echo in my tired mind.

"_You can't choose 'baby' and 'vampire' all at once. It's one or the other."_

Esme's face danced behind my eyelids, and I squeezed them tighter together to try and make her pitying expression disappear.

"_You will regret not being able to have children, Bella."_

Rosalie's glinting eyes replaces Esme's comparatively kinder image and I involuntarily spluttered.

"Bella?" Edward said. He was sitting beside me on my bed, staying with me during all hours now.

I knew the phase would pass, but for now I was practically inconsolable and didn't do much but wallow in my own pity. I was grateful that Edward was keeping me company and that he was putting up with such a childish act, yet just looking at his face brought on a fresh round of tears.

I knew I had to choose, and I didn't want to.

I answered his concerned tone by burying my face in his shirt. He smelled fabulous. I vaguely wondered how I would smell when I was like him. I wondered how a baby would smell when it was swaying it in my arms while I danced around a bright nursery and looked down at the chubby-cheeked infant.

I closed my eyes and tried to regulate my breathing, thinking of how much I really needed to get some shut-eye. I hadn't gotten more than three hours sleep at a time in the past seven days, and the dark circles under my eyes were proof. Perhaps I looked a little more like a vampire now, lacking only the beauty and the golden gaze.

Edward sighed and moved one hand from my upper back to my head. He gently stroked my hair, and I felt his head move. I was sure his cheek was resting atop my crown of haystack hair.

I took a huge breath and forced myself to get a grip.

"I think you need to get away for a little while, Bella," he said, his throat vibrating gently on my tear-stained cheek.

I knew he was right, but my lack of audible responses had become a little bit too common for him to expect me to answer fully. I just nodded. I cast around for the most uplifting person I could think of. "Jake," I said, surprised that the word didn't ravage my throat on the way out. Jake's moods were always infectious, so he would surely cheer me up a little.

"Do you want me to drive you?" Edward asked gently.

I pulled back from him and dragged my sleeves across my face. I took another big breath and was pleased to feel my lungs working properly; not plagued by hiccoughs and splutters. "Mmm," I said, and nodded. I was still able to drive.

Edward looked carefully at my face, deciding for himself whether I was fit to be behind the wheel of my truck or not. He seemed to decide I was, because he started to stand, pulling me with him.

We were outside a few minutes later, Edward staying loyally by my side even once I was in the truck.

"You don't have to rush back," he said through the window. The final rays of sunlight were fading all around us, and Edward's face looked more angelic than ever.

It was twilight, 'the best time for vampires', he had once told me. I wondered if I would appreciate twilight the way he did some day.

"I'll go and tell Alice what's going on so she doesn't panic about her visions in a minute, but I wanted to tell you something first."

_Uh oh,_ I thought. _This can't be good._

"Bella," he began, reaching through the window to rest his cool hand on my cheek. "I want you to know that I love you more than anything. There is nothing more important to me than you, whether you're here with me or in another country, raising a child with a guy who I'll no doubt despise." He smiled beautifully at me, and I tried to smile back. I think it showed. "I'll see you soon," he said, and leaned forward to kiss me gently on the lips. My mouth returned the lingering pressure, but not even my unconscious muscles were with-it enough to jump his bones.

"I love you," I returned, and when his eyes sparkled back at me, I was sure he knew I meant it.

"Enjoy yourself, Bella."

Then he was gone. I didn't feel as alone as I'd expected, and my lips were still tingling as I started up the engine.

--

"Hey Jake!" I cut the rumbling of the truck once I was parked outside the little red house in La Push. I was right; Jacob did make me feel better just by being there.

Jacob leaned onto my open window, a smile greeting me. "Hey there, Bella. Good to see you again." He opened my door and pulled me into a hug. He started winding my window up for me, obviously aware of the clouds threatening overhead. Once the door was shut we started walking up to his house.

"What's new?" I asked him while our feet scuffed across the grass. "How are you, how's the gang, how is everything?" I very much wanted to hear something completely baby and vampire unrelated, so having Jacob do the talking was obviously a good idea.

"Oh, I dunno," he said, but I knew there was something on his mind. I didn't know if it was good or bad though, so I just stayed silent and waited for him to start talking. We crossed the threshold to his house, but I didn't see Jacob's dad anywhere.

"Where's Billy?"

"Council meeting," he said simply. I just nodded.

We both stayed silent while we headed for his bedroom. Once the door was closed behind us, I sat down on his bed, one leg tucked up under me and the other dangling over the edge of the mattress. Jake sat down beside me, his weight making me bounce around on the covers. I laughed a little, desperately pleased that I was still able to do so, but stopped immediately when I saw the expression on Jacob's face.

"Jake!" I almost shouted. "What's wrong?"

I realised that since first seeing him from my truck, he'd been at least partially hiding his face from me at all times. Now that we were under the brighter lights of his bedroom thought, I could see him properly, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

His eyes were stained with sleep lines worse than my own. He looked bloodshot all over, his shoulders slumped; skin dull and tired. His cheeks fell so much that I could have mistaken him for a funeral-goer, and the corners of his mouth were turned down in the way people do when they're trying very hard not to cry.

He took a great breath before answering me. "I wish I never imprinted."

Instantly, I was furious. _If that little skank did anything to Jake, she's dead._ "What happened? What went wrong?"

"She just doesn't want me."

I scoffed, thinking that such an excuse was absurd. "What happened?" I repeated, but this time I put an arm around Jake's back, hugging him side-on.

His hands came together and he started playing with them, like he does when he gets nervous. I thought I may have picked up the habit from him.

"I went to visit her in the hospital, and she didn't remember who I was. I'd expected as much, thought, so I sat down beside her and started explaining the accident and everything. She didn't understand what I meant when I said that I'd stopped the car, and no matter how much forbidding Sam did, I couldn't stop myself from telling her what I was."

I leaned slowly back from him, wondering why his voice was shaking.

"She was horrified. She started screaming that I was insane and wanted me to get out. I didn't want to leave though, and I wanted her to understand about how I couldn't just walk away from her. I tried to kiss her, to make her feel what I felt."

I gasped. My mouth wouldn't form words.

"So then Sam yanked me out the room and told me to cool it; that I was scaring her. So I left and pretended to get something to eat.

"She was still being hysterical when I went to see her a little while later. Sam wasn't there to stop me, so I went in and tried again to explain everything. She kept cutting me off though, and said, 'I don't care who you are. You nearly killed me and you ruined my car and now you come in here and try to tell me that you _saved_ me?! You've got nerve, buddy, and I never want you to come near me again. You're a freak and I don't _associate_ with _freaks_.'

"So I left. And I haven't tried to be near her again, even thought I really want to see her. No matter how mean she is to me, I'll still love her. And I don't think I've slept since Monday."

I was shocked beyond belief. I hadn't expected this in the slightest. _Lauren Mallory is going down,_ I threatened. I started picturing ways to torture her.

Jacob stayed quiet, his head bowed down, hands clasped loosely together. I wanted to hug him to make it better, but for once, there was absolutely nothing I could do to help. This was something way out of my hands.

We sat in silence for a long while. I thought about Jacob's situation, and brainstormed so hard my head hurt, trying to think of ways to make Lauren Mallory listen. Whether she was a capital bitch or not, Jake was still in love with her, and he would always be this unhappy unless she wanted him too. I had absolutely no idea what Jacob was thinking about. When I was under the impression that Edward didn't want me, I didn't want to be able to think at all. And I was always trying to distract myself from the overly-painful thoughts associated with him.

_Maybe that's what Jake needs. He needs a distraction. What was my distraction? I went to the movies with Jessica, not that that turned out well, but I was practically insane back then. I think Jake has more self control than I did._

"I think you need to get away for a little while, Jake," I said, realising that I was repeating Edward's words. "How about a movie?"

He sniffed and roughly wiped his nose across his sleeve. "Yeah," he said, and I realised that he had been silently crying.

Without thinking, I threw my arms around him and buried my face between the crook of his neck and his shoulder. I had started to cry with him. "I wish I could fix it," I said. Saying 'I'm sorry' didn't seem to be enough. Seeing Jake cry, under any circumstances, was absolutely heartbreaking.

Any pitiful worry I had about being a mother or a vampire went straight from my head. Here was Jacob; caught between the world of his best friend and her enemy boyfriend, with a father who wasn't far from his last months of life, and forced to face the fact that the one person who he was perfect for in every way didn't want him.

Then there was me; with two healthy and loving parents, a boyfriend who I loved and who loved me more than life itself; and a best friend who was one of the most beautiful people alive. And I wasn't satisfied. I was kicking up a stink because I couldn't have everything I wanted.

How selfish could one person possibly be?

"Come on Jake," I said after a few minutes of clutching his muscled torso. "Let's go see a movie."

--

Jacob had insisted on driving; he wanted me to see his little Rabbit in action. I liked the car, it was very smooth on the road, and Jake must have done some serious heater-pimping because I was actually close to sweating in my seat.

We'd been going for long enough that I would have guessed our location to be about halfway between Forks and Port Angeles. I was impressed with Jake's driving skills on minimal sleep; he'd even avoided a tree branch that I hadn't even seen without panicking. Being a werewolf definitely gave you reactions that compared with a vampire's.

I stared mindlessly ahead for a while, watching the approaching headlights get bigger and bigger until they went past us with a 'whoosh' of tyres on a wet road.

We were just coming over a rise in the road when it happened.

I could see the high-beams of the approaching car throwing strong rays of light into the night air, and I was counting the time in my head to see how long it would be before their lights dimmed. I noticed just before the two bright spots appeared that it was a truck because of the orange lights lining the top of the cargo hold, but that was one of the last things I remember.

It was one of the last because they didn't dim their lights; and Jake couldn't swerve quickly enough. Jacob Black's Volkswagen Rabbit collided with a Mack truck at 6:23pm on the road between Port Angeles and Forks, Washington.

And Alice's visions don't work around werewolves.

* * *

**Heya, please let me know what you thought. I cried when I wrote the last bit... sigh. But I think I wrote it in an okay-way.**

**Review, my pretties :-)**

**-Shaps**


	10. The End

**Okay, I'm aware that I'm a lazy bugger and I barely ever update. Plus, you're all no doubt reading other stories at the same time as this one, and probably don't remember a lot of what's happened in the previous chapters – so here's a small re-cap:**

**Chap 1. Bella's hiding in Edward's room; and after he finds her and almost kills her, he suggests she has a kid before she becomes a vampire.**

**Chap 2. Bella considers Jake as a father but doesn't choose him because of the werewolf issue. She decides that she does want to go through with having a child.**

**Chap 3. Bella goes to see Jake in La Push.**

**Chap 4. Jake tells Bella that he imprinted, but she forgets to ask him who it was so she stops on her way home and calls him. It's Lauren Mallory. Bella faints by the road side.**

**Chap 5. Bella wakes up in Edward's room, and the two of them argue playfully about who loves who more.**

**Chap 6. Bella works out that half of Edward's reason for the child suggestion is because he thinks she'll not be able to let go and be changed. She isn't sure about having a kid any more.**

**Chap 7. Edward suggests that Bella talks to Rosalie about having a child.**

**Chap 8. Both Rosalie and Esme explain to Bella why they wanted children when they were human, and why they can't accept responsibility of being the carers of her child. Bella realises that she can't have a child **_**and**_** be a vampire at the same time.**

**Chap 9. Lauren Mallory has rejected Jacob, and when Bella goes to see him upon Edward's suggestion, they decide to see a movie. Jake is very tired – but he still wants to drive to show off his Rabbit. The chapter ends by saying that Alice's visions don't work around werewolves and that they were hit by a truck.**

* * *

I regained consciousness, and immediately wished that I was still out cold.

Slowly, and excruciatingly painfully, I raised my head and opened my eyes a fraction.

I could see jagged pieces of metal all around me, broken pieces of glass. Smashed up parts of Jacob's car were littered over the road. Somehow the truck that had hit us was on its side twenty yards away from Jacob, on my left. I lifted my head to try and look forward to see the damage at the front of the car, but my neck protested like there were needles jutting into my spine. I screamed out in pain, but it didn't help me much.

"Jake?" I whispered; unsuccessfully ignoring the stabbing in my neck as I twisted my head around.

I started crying as I looked at him.

Jacob, my Jacob, was pinned to his seat by the dashboard, the steering wheel mashed into his torso. I took another small look at my surroundings and realised that Jake _had_ swerved… he'd purposely turned the car so that his side received the greatest blow from the truck.

He didn't look peaceful like they're meant to. Like they do in the movies. Instead of a trickle of blood leaking down from one side of his mouth, his whole face was stained with red. There was a huge gash across his forehead, covering his eye, and it extended back through his hairline. One of his big hands rested crimson just by the gear-stick, palm up, like he was about to reach for the dials on the radio.

His shirt was dyed red, the steering wheel touching just under his jaw. The amount of space left by the steering wheel on his body didn't look enough for him to have survived… but despite this, I could see his chest rising and falling in the tiniest motions.

_He's not dead._

I looked down at myself, groaning in pain at the shootings in my neck and back. I stared for a moment, disbelieving. There, jutting out from my stomach, was some kind of metal. It might have been part of the bonnet or maybe the grill of the truck. I didn't know. And I didn't care right at the moment.

It was the width of a piece of A4 paper, and was stuck in at an angle. The metal itself wasn't very thick. I couldn't even feel it.

Still dazed and sceptical, I reached down with my left hand and touched it. It _felt_ like it was there. So I touched it again, but accidentally pushed a little too hard. A terrible screeching sounded in the air, so loud and consistent and wretchedly painful that my first instinct was to block my ears. Then I realised it was me… and that the molten pain working its way through my body was caused by the foreign object protruding from my stomach.

My breathing sped up and I started to cry more desperately than before. My lungs began to produce wheezing sounds, choking and panicking me.

I looked around outside the car again. There were the lights of about four other vehicles parked on my side. No one was close enough to speak to. I looked past Jake and saw that the truck's cab had a small fire in it. I panicked for a moment, but then realised that unless there was some way for it to snake along to our car, we were only in danger if it blew up.

I leant my head back on the seat and listened carefully for any sign of help. I could hear people's voices babbling, panicked, all around me, so I tried to listen to them individually.

"_The police are going to be at least half an hour…"_

"…_where's the ambulance?"_

"_The truck driver's fine…"_

"_It's horrible…"_

"_They're both so young…"_

"_Who the hell is that?"_

"_Hey! You can't go over there! You'll get killed if something blows!"_

Then, the voice I would have thought I'd never hear again.

"Oh God, Bella, Bella, no Bella no! No!"

He was here. I looked at him and concentrated on his face, willing my hand to move up so I could touch him one last time.

"Edward," I whispered. I smiled, and it hurt. I coughed and tasted blood in the back of my throat. "I'm dying," I informed him, my mind not working properly.

His normally scorching golden eyes were brimmed with pain. I was sure that if he could cry, he would be. His brows were furrowed with frustration and gut-wrenching hurt; and he wasn't breathing.

"No," he repeated, looking me over. His jaw set hard but his eyes were still aggrieved. Then he turned slightly and called over his shoulder. "Carlisle! She's here, Carlisle help her, she's… she's…"

I couldn't speak; I couldn't even hold my eyes open much. I tried to make my hand move up to him again, but it wouldn't. Frustrated, I looked down. And wished like anything that I hadn't.

"My arm!" I screamed, beyond horrified. "Where's my arm?! Edward, my arm, where is it? It's gone!"

Hysterical, I screamed and screamed for my arm. Edward put his hand on my cheek to try and quieten me. I looked at him, terrified and sickened at what had happened.

"I'll try and fix this, Bella, but you're going to have to go through some significant pain. Do you understand?"

He took his hand away from my cheek and picked up my left hand, holding it firmly in both of his cold, white ones.

I knew what he meant… but I was confused at the same time.

"But my arm?" I questioned him. "And I'm stuck." I looked down at my torso again.

Severely in pain now, Edward looked at me with an expression that gave me my answer.

"You have to pull it out," I whispered.

He nodded.

I knew that if I over thought it, I wasn't going to let him do what must be done whether I was dead or alive. So I looked at him and squeezed his hands with my remaining one, and voiced my answer, knowing how much this was going to hurt.

"Do it," I said. I closed my eyes tightly and waited for him to remove the metal from my body.

"Carlisle," I heard Edward whisper. He wasn't speaking to me, I could tell, but I kept my eyes firmly closed anyway.

I heard quick words exchange between them, then angrier words from Edward. The only sentence I could make out was Carlisle's last one; "I'm sorry. It's the only thing holding her together."

Clearly too emotional to worry about exposing himself, Edward roared with indignant anger. "No!"

Then I could tell that Carlisle was gone… and that only meant one thing.

"I'm going to die."

Edward didn't say anything. He tore the door off the Rabbit and threw it behind him, then knelt by my side. He reached out and held my hand again, but then brought one up to my face and stroked his thumb across my cheek. I smiled at him.

"Edward," I said. Everything was beginning to go a little fuzzy around the edges. "I love you more than anything. This is not your fault." The blood and adrenaline that had been pumping in my ears was beginning to slow in frequency. I clutched to my consciousness with everything I had. "You must not go to Italy, Edward."

He just stared at me with a dying expression. I waited for him to speak, but when he didn't say anything I started crying more prominently. I was determined that he would continue to exist, even when I wouldn't. So I slid my hand from his grasp and reached out for his face.

"Edward," I said, blinking furiously to keep the stars from stealing my vision. I coughed when I opened my mouth to speak again, and felt blood trickle down my chin. "This is my dying request, Edward. _You must not destroy yourself_."

He looked down, avoiding my gaze. "I can't live without you." he looked back up at me and put a hand over mine, trapping it between his palm and his cheek. "I don't want to exist when you don't. I love you too much."

"No." I was determined. "If you die, you're killing me again by doing it."

"But –"

"No 'but's! Edward Cullen, look at me, look at me!" I pulled on his chin to make him look at me. "Promise me."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. Promise me. Just say 'I promise'."

He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "I promise," he whispered.

"There's something else, too."

"Yes?"

"I want you to kiss me once more before I go. Please."

"Bella, I can't, I'll –"

I cut him off again. "Please, just one."

He hesitated for a moment, probably weighing up the options. Then, before he could change his mind, he leaned forward on his knees and kissed me.

My body had become feverish without my noticing, so the iciness of his skin was enough to make me shiver. I was glad it was one of the final things I would feel. His lips moved very gently against mine, and I could taste my own blood in my mouth, so I knew he could too. But he was still kissing me, even though it must have been the most difficult thing he'd ever done. It was laced with tragedy and held every inch of a goodbye.

Then he pulled away. I could see the dark smears on his mouth, and he licked his lips to clean them. His eyes were blazing intensely, and I knew he was fighting himself on the inside.

"Thankyou," I breathed. I tried to speak a little faster, because my heart was slowing even more and it was unreasonably difficult to think. "There are two other things I want you to do for me, Edward."

"Anything."

"First, tell everyone I love them. Tell Jake when he wakes up that this wasn't his fault, tell Renée and Charlie that I love them. Tell Alice this wasn't her fault either."

He held my face in his wintry hands. I brought my left one up and held his wrist while I talked.

"And the other thing is that I want to die with a ring on my finger. I know you've always got it, so hand it over," I tried my best to smile and make a little joke to break through his sombre expression.

Without saying a thing, he produced the delicate ring from his pocket and slid it onto my finger. Then he looked at me and kissed my hand.

"I will always love you."

"And I'll always love you." I couldn't hold my eyelids up any more. "Goodbye, Edward."

Then, over a few seconds, every noise quietened until I couldn't hear it anymore. The feeling of Edward's skin on mine faded until I felt nothing. The pain lessened until it was gone. Every smell around me weakened to nothing. The pinpricks of light behind my eyelids danced and dimmed, leaving me with nothing but a perfectly black canvas until I knew that I was in a place that I couldn't return from.

* * *

**.**

**"A dying man needs to die; as a sleepy man needs to sleep; and there comes a time when it is wrong as well as useless to resist."**

**.**

**Hey guys! Well, that's it I'm afraid. Bella died :-(**

**Now, Alice _did_ 'See' Bella in a vision - and Jacob _is_ still alive. But because he's in a coma, Alice's visions were reactivated because while he's in a coma, he can't transform into a wolf, and so is predictable until he wakes up.**

**Sorry if anyone disliked the ending to this story - but I have a pretty good reason to explain why I cut it short:**

**I didn't like this story. It began as a very long one-shot, and I should have left it at that, because my enthusiasm for the story was all over the place. But I did finish it, and I learned a valuable lesson from it; don't write a story unless you love the idea.**

**Okay, that's all! It's been great having you guys read and or review, and I appreciate it. Hope you have a fantastic day :-D**

**-Shaps xo**


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